Bordeaux's fine whine cellar presents: Love

By, James Bordewick

Salutations, faithful readers! I finally decided to tackle the frumpy topic that has been begging me to write about it for a while now. It is, in fact, a subject that is a high priority in many people's minds. The subject is LOVE & SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep in mind that this is a very dicey topic. My opinion may conflict with yours, but are you the one writing this? I didn't think so. I want all of you to know that I am not speaking this out of bias in any way. One of the gifts I pride myself on is my ability to detach myself and look at things for what they are, (including myself.)

It seems that everywhere we go, we are bombarded with messages about love. It becomes an intregal part of our daily lives. The average person thinks about sex an average of once every six seconds of their waking day. The line between love and infatuation grows fuzzier every day.

Ah, I remember the good old days of "going out." It started in 5th or 6th grade with the essential rite of passage of not passing. It usually went something like this;

Susie- I like you. Do you like me? (Circle One)

Yes No

-Tommy

If the Person circled yes they were officially, "going out." Although most of us can look back, laugh, and/or thank God that it's over' it was still an important part of our emotional development. It eventually builds up to what we have today.

As I look at many high school couples, I see them completely based upon infatuation. The main reasons that couples break up at this time of life are;

A.) Some nasty (and many times false) rumors circulate.

B.) The person loses attraction.

C.) Someone more attractive comes along.

It occurs frequently in first time relationships that people commonly make these mistakes. However, there are people who repeat this cycle over and over because they cannot distinguish love from infatuation.

From at least the 50's back, it was a big deal if people were "going steady." They dated other people most of the time. Nowadays, if you are going out, it is expected that you date only that person. This in my opinion, is the mistake of trying to force love to come. This is something that can't be forced, but it can be learned. Take, for instance, betrothals. It has been reported that betrothed people have, on average, better marriages because divorce is not an option. Therefore, they must learn to love one another.

I think that under the correct conditions, anyone could love someone else. A good indication of the line between love and infatuation is defined in this quote by William Inge, "Two people really in love must give something of themselves. That is the gift men are afraid to make. Sometimes they keep it locked inside their bosoms where it withers and dies. Then they never know love, only its facsimiles which they seek over and over again in meaningless repetition."

By this definition, many things are cleared up. We love our families, our pets, our friends. You see infatuation is the physical part of love. There is a mental part and an emotional part also, but the physical part is so extolled, we may forget about the others. It is true that lust can improve a relationship, but without the other parts it is one dimensional. Without any attraction at all, however, a relationship can become stagnant, and mentally you must be able to commit. Thus, the best relationships possible are the ones built on both ends, optimally equal.

Well, I hope this article sparked some though. As always, tell us what you think. I would love to write the next article about a topic that someone suggests.

Till next time, keep the cheese a comin'.