The Blind

Jocelyn Elders, either directly or indirectly, lost her job as Surgeon General because of her controversial ideas concerning masturbation being taught in sex education.

A true and honest travesty of our times.

Not only is it effective means of population control, but if they addressed the issue of masturbation in schools, you would see a sizeable decline in rates of teen pregnancies and STDs.

But no; This country's TOTALLY Bible based moral code tells them that because their priest told them not to, that they'll be forced to take a dip in the lake of fire for a bit of self indulgence!

The truth of the matter is that whether they admit it or not, an estimated 95% of all people do it.

There was once a psychiatrist by the name of Freud(Who I almost NEVER quote because he was a sexist bastard) he once said, "The only thing to be ashamed about masturbation is not doing it correctly."

Hey, if you don't take tips from Freud, take a tip from Dr. Green. Masturbation doesn't have to be boring, no sir!

Spice up the relationship between you and your hand. Take it on long walks, hold hands with your hand. Buy it bottles of wine and flowers, spend the night talking. Play games with it. Don't look at you hand for a few days, but write sexy notes for it to read while you write them.

I just know that a week after this is published I'm gonna get 2,000 letters asking "do you masturbate," so I'll answer all of them right now....

GO FUCK YOURSELVES


	The Blind, Hairy Palmed Masses

The Blind, Hairy Palmed Masses