The Day The Music Died

Hello, dear readers. It is I, James Bordewick, here again to discuss the topics concerning society today. So once again I lie back, drink some coffee and take pencil in hand to report. Go ahead, pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable as you read this. Today's topic: Music.

You know, it seems not too long ago, that if you would have asked me I would have said that music was pretty good. This may have been an innocent and naive opinion, but for most part it was pretty true. Nowadays, it seems music has undergone an evil metamorphosis. I look upon it and I am frightened. Just look at the "New Music" on today:

First off and foremost is pop music. Let me start by saying THIS IS NOT ROCK!! It is a free form incorporating many styles of music. So once in a while a rock song will wander onto the charts, but that's the extent of it. I hate the way a great majority of it is strongly into the techno beats and synthesizer sounds. Call me crazy, but I think the skill of a musician (With possible exception of Trent Reznor) should be judged by how well they play an instrument, not how well they mix songs on a synthesizer. I wanna hear a real guitar goddammit, not some whacked out machine. I don't like the attitude in general that KCLD* and its satanic brethen have. They only play top 40 hits so you can hear their entire playing repertoire in about two and a half hours. It's way too commercial, and all their DJ's have cooler-than-thou crappy attitudes.

Many people can't stand being within a one mile radius of a radio playing a country station. As for me, many years of being forced to listen to it have built up my resistance to it like a shell. I can honestly say, though, that I'll never like it. I hate the way many of the songs have a depressing theme. Studies have shown that country listeners have the highest suicide rate. Gee I wonder why? The other things that get me about country is the twanginess inherent in the guitars and that all the country singers have that stupid accent. Come on people, you can't tell me you're all from Nashville.

As far as I known all types of rock are dead. Don't get me wrong, I love rock, but I never anything new anymore. The people I know who like rock listen to the older bands, or if they listen to a current one they listen to an older album. Once in a while I hear a pretty good new tune, but they are few and far between.

The older songs of Classic rock, Oldies, Jazz, Classical, etc. are great. The only problem I have is with people who will only listen to the older stuff. That makes for an interesting paradox. You can't just listen to the old music or there won't be any more music but if new music sucks, what is there to listen to but older music? Uh... don't ask me... I'm just a kid...

I saved the worst for last. I guess I just hate rao music I thin that rap music itself is an oxymoron. PLEASE PEOPLE RHYTHM IS ONLY PART OF MUSIC!!! This is gonna come back to haunt us, like disco, if you catch my drift. I would classify rap into three categories: soft, gangster, and my own little section, anarchist rap. Soft rap is the kind most likely to be found on KCLD* and the like. You know, LL Cool J, Skeelo-them losers. Gangster rap is what it says. And it is stupid. Yo, G-dog, don't make me put `da smack down on `ya and bust a cap in yo` ass... Finally we come to anarchist. This is what I would call bands such as Rage Against the Machine and 311. It is the closest to regular music. Pretty good stuff, but don't take their attitude too seriously or you'll have an attitude like a terrorist.

So, are you sick of stupid crap? Want an alternative? Then I present to my radio station KVSC**, our sound alternative. It has an enormous amount of variety (almost too much at times), the DJ's are awesome, and best of all it is COMMERCIAL FREE! So what are you waiting for? Jump on the bandwagon and get into it!! I challenge you: listen for a week. If you like it, great! If not, oh well. I'm sure it showed you at least something you liked.

I have one final piece of advice for you all. Patronize the stuff you like. Without people's support, Companies and the like cannot continue doing the crappy stuff they do.

Well that's about it for this one. It was kind of long winded, so thanks for sticking with me. If you like this 'zine tell your friends, share your copy around. If not, we are always open to suggestions. Thanks. 'till next time, keep the cheese a coning...........