And the New Deity for 1998

To: Jahova Yahew

Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)

Presidential Tier, Paradise

Dear God;

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR CURRENT POSITION AS DIETY IS HEREWITH TERMINATED DUE TO GROSS INCOMPETENCE STOP YOUR CHECK WILL BE MAILED STOP PLEASE DO NOT USE ME FOR A REFERENCE

RESPECTFULLY,

I am truly disappointed in the lot of you. "Oh, Chandra, I'll have my Deity entry in by tomorrow," "Oh, I'll have it in by next week," "Can I have an extension?" "Can I have an extension?" "CAN I HAVE AN EXTENSION?!!!" I have been as patient as a follower can be, and I will wait no longer. I'd like to thank those who did enter, and give them my sincere apoligy for the winning deity.

The winner is.... you, (observe the quote in the middle if you don't understand.)

"I'm not a god, but give me enough money, and I might act like one"

-Owen Raine

"Fuck you."

-Matt's tamagrouchie

"42."

-Douglas Adams

"How many chances do I get?"

-Klause Lundholm

"...Here I am. I offer my services while I am here, and if I ever return. Worship me and I will feate the dreams you want, I will send my minions to protect you from bad dreams and reinforce the good ones, and I will let you enjoy my worlds of strange, twisted, beautiful things.

Come, and you can not be dissapointed."

-Steve Stolpman

"The Human Race Will Begin Solving Its Problems On The Day It Ceases Taking Itself So Seriously."

-The Golden Secret

"Be your own master!

Be your own Jesus!

Be your own flying saucer, rescue yourself!!

Be your own valentine, free your heart!"

-The Chink

(Even Cowgirls get the Blues, by Tom Robbins)

"...It's a big universe and we're not. And everything is evil."

-Molly Krueger

"there is the spork, which stands for cool shit, and the potato which, well doesn't.......................... this is why he needs all of you."

-James Bordewick

And the New Deity for 1998 (and all time) is........